(the chickens are happy because they are still strutting & pecking)
I've seen meatless chicken things like this for sale in the freezer section of the health food store from various companies but they've never been vegan and they're always CRAZY expensive (like $8 for two rolls). This is so much less expensive and doesn't have any eggs or anything in it.
This is a two-day recipe, but not because it's particularly difficult - you've just gotta let things chill out in the fridge/freezer for a while; so plan ahead! I would reccommend doubling up on the recipe, too, since it doesn't take any more time and it means you'll have some yummy stuff stashed away in the freezer for some future meal.
1/2 cup Earth Balance or other vegan margarine
1 tsp each dry tarragon and parsley
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp nutritional yeast (optional)
1/2 lb firm tofu
1/3 cup water
1/2 cup gluten flour
1/2 cup dry crumbs (bread or cracker)
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground sage
1 cup flour
1 cup non-dairy milk
2 cups crumbs
Mix the softened Earth Balance with the spices. Place on a sheet of waxed paper or parchment and roll into a log shape. Place in freezer.
Using a food processor, blend the firm tofu with the water until it is a completely smooth paste, pausing to scrape the sides down now and then. Transfer this into a mixing bowl (this can also be done in a bread machine or electric mixer with a dough hook). Add in the remaining ingredients. Mix until a soft dough is achieved. Knead for another five or ten minutes. Let it rest 20 minutes to half an hour, then knead another ten minutes.
Break the dough into 4 seperate pieces, then pound and stretch each piece (I use an actual tenderizer hammer thing) to about 1/4" thickness. Remove the EB from the freezer and cut into four equal chunks. Place a chunk of the herbed EB into the center of each flattened piece of seitan. Wrap the seitan around the EB as if you are rolling up a burrito, tucking the sides in about halfway through the roll and pinching the seams shut. Use plastic wrap to really seal it up tight if you like, or a few strategically placed toothpicks will do the trick nicely. Repeat with the remaining rolls.
Place in the fridge for a couple of hours to get them nice and cold and firm.
Next, put the flour, milk and crumbs in three different shallow containers (all wide enough to contain the kiev rolls). Remove the kiev rolls from the fridge, and take them out of their plastic wrap or take out the toothpicks. They should be holding together nicely. Carefully coat a roll in the flour, then dip in the milk, then dredge through the crumbs so that it is completely covered. Set aside on a plate and continue with the remaining rolls until they are all nicely breaded.
Now place them carefully in a single layer in a container or on a plate and freeze them solid. This is an important step - it changes the consistancy of the seitan mixture so that it's very toothsome. If you don't freeze them and go ahead and bake them or fry them you will end up with a kind of soft gummy substance which I find totally unpleasant. Depending on your freezer they could be solid within a few hours, or you might wanna leave 'em overnight to be sure.
When you're ready to bake them, preheat your oven to 375 F. Place the frozen kiev rolls on a baking sheet that's been lightly oiled. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn them over, and bake for another 15 minutes. They will be golden brown and crispy. Remove from the oven and let set for 5 - 10 minutes before serving.
As an aside, this seitan mixture (that's basically half firm tofu) will make an excellent substitute for chicken in all sorts of recipes. Pound the dough into cutlets, freeze it solid, then bake it at 350 for 20 minutes. At this point you could do all sorts of things - cut it into strips for stir-fries, batter and deep-fry it, make no-chicken nuggets or fingers, cut it up into a no-chicken salad, braise it and serve it with gravy, whatever. Plus you could use this same method and stuff it with all sorts of things. Be creative. It's yummy and versatile.